Autumn (and Christmas) is probably my favourite time of the year to read as much as possible, especially spooky and/or cosy books. They are just the best to get into the scenery, the mood, and all the cosiness! Every year, I did not plan enough to read all the books I wanted to, but this year I wanted to change that. I’ll try to read at least 4 autumnal books a month until November – let’s be reasonable. Here’s the one I want to get my hands on to. 

I’m not sure I need to introduce this book as you have probably seen in a hundred time on Instagram. I wanted to read this book for so long. Actually, I already started it last year on my kindle but I found it really hard to get into. Therefore, this year I bought the paper version. I hope it will be easier to read in with a physical copy. 

After reading Midnight Sun last month, I wanted to dive in the books again. Nothing better before the beginning of autumn. It was quite nice to go back to those teenage years with all those characters. I saw Bella in a new light, someone very strong despite what everyone thinks of her, who know what she wants and a wise soul. While Edward and Jacob were just in a constant fight to prove how much they loved her and how much they want to protect her (really boring/annoying as she is a bloody woman and does not need a knight no protect her from the world, thank you very much). Other than that and the strong attraction between the two characters (that seems to be all about beauty sometimes…), it was a good and quick read. 

   

Oh boy. It took me seven months to finish this book. It was huge and good and perfectly detailed. Jamie and Claire are two of my favorite characters ever, I could not say it enough. They are so brave, strong and have their feet on earth. They have a heart and compassion, while being very stubborn and strong-minded. This book was all about the reunion of the two lovers and how twenty years changed nothing in their love while changing everything. The writing is perfect, as always; you have the sensation to be just right next to the characters, seeing what they see and living what they live. No matter how beautiful or harsh.

 

A modern Bridget Jones that was not really necessary. I was really disappointed by this book as I was expecting something with more depth and meaning. Queenie is just the story of a self-absorbed young woman who needs help to figure things out in her life. Her friends don't always seem like good friends, or at least she's not a very good friend. She does not really talk to them or tell the truth. She is self-centered but doesn't let anyone in, really in. And when finally she gets the help she needs, everything just because easy, like magic. I thought it was ridiculous to feel good right away, with just a couple of sessions. There is also the racism issues that are sometimes talked about, but not in a very meaningful way either ; something was definitely missing.  Well, clearly, I would not recommend this book.

The very first autumnal book of the year, people! It feels so good to be back in this spooky atmosphere. And this book was really nice to start with. Too short in my opinion, therefore missed depth and perspective. However, it was really well done with lovely characters with a spooky side to all of them. I loved the scenery, the season and the strange things happening ... but without any real explanation or curiosity whatsoever. The characters are just used to the accidents happening to them once a year. They don't question it or try to get ride of it. That's what was mainly missing in this story to be really great and even more interesting. 

 

I wanted to read this book for so long. This year, I finally managed to make it my second autumnal read of the year. And... it was such a disappointment. It was really short and not really interesting. Just mainly strange, weird even. Some characters come and go just like that, that was strange. And as for the two main protagonist, what was their problem? Really, I really don't understand what's the fuss about this book. If someone read it, please tell me if and why you loved it. 

End of May, the official lockdown was over in France. We could go out without a signed paper, and not just for grocery shopping. At that point, I was scared to go outside and have a normal Saturday. I was afraid to do just that. Once I went out, I obviously understood that it would be very normal, yet strange. The atmosphere was not the same, but it did not mean that the world was going to kill me instantly if I lay one foot out of my apartment. 

It made me realized how much I constructed something in my head, something I was scared of even though I just imagined it. I was basically anxious to go outside and live. That’s when it made me wonder if my anxiety had worsened during lockdown. If staying inside in this very safe space with just my boyfriend (+ cat) had made me feared anything that was not inside this safe bubble. The first time someone asked us to go out, I said no. I was just too anxious to do that. The next times, I said yes because it sounded stupid to stay inside being scared while it was perfectly okay to have fun and enjoy the world out there (but still being safe!). 

I don’t want to live this experience as a step back in my work with anxiety. Because yes, I worked so hard to be where I am now (or where I was before everything happened) that I would be such a shame to go back to where I was before. I don’t want to be scared of little things like taking the tube alone or going out. I can be scared, that’s normal, but I’m not sure I want to feel anxious. I know that we all experience this in our own different way and that there is no good and bad in all of those, but I don’t want to take this step back. The fact that I was so much in my safe bubble might makes me afraid of what’s outside of it. 

I’m not sure how to deal with that, and it might be a while before everything goes back to ‘normal’. However, I need to give myself some peace. Yes, as an introvert, I love spending more time at home, but no, I don’t want that my home feels like the only safe place I can be. I guess I need more time to figure this out. However, I’m curious to know what are your thoughts on this. How have you been feeling lately?

This is what I call the power of September, or the new January. It always comes by mid-August, when I’m planning everything before uni starts again. I get excited for new classes, learning new things and meeting new people. This year, I finally start my master degree while working as an apprentice for two years in digital communication. I’m a bit scared that this year will be different due to covid, obviously, but they're not one thing that could take away my motivation and inspiration. That’s the real power of this month. I don’t know if it might change once I’m no longer in the school system, but I enjoy it as much as I can while it lasts. 

 

In other words, I hope that you’ll see more of me here than you did during summer time. I’m already planning my content weeks ahead to be sure that I’ve got the time I need for uni/works/myself and then this blog. I’m not even sure there are that many of you, but if there is, I would love to know how September makes you feel, and what you’re currently doing: working, at school, no plans yet?

The Twilight series, books and movies, have this incredible moody atmosphere that I love so much. That’s probably why I still love them so much. I actually don’t remember the books that much – but I’m planning on reading them very soon – but the story always seemed to be my cup of tea, even though I get older. When I heard about this new release, I had to get my hands on it, and I did. Obviously. 

As I said, I don’t remember the books much, therefore I was rediscovering the story in a way. I did not have the impression to read the same story, of course because it was another point of view, but also because S. Meyer gave us new insights and information. I loved that we learned more about the past of the Cullens, how Edwards is and why, how much he worships Carlisle and his view on life. This was some of the best parts, the “human” side of the book. The relationships, the feelings that can be so pure and sincere. To see how strong Edward gets because of love, even though he sees his behavior as a weakness. 

On the other side, I saw many wrong things in this book. Because we have Edward’s outlook, we also understand how much he wants control over Bella’s life. He wants to protect her and he loves her: okay, but loving someone does not mean that this person belongs to you and that you have to know about their every moves and thoughts. It was really annoying and frustrating to see a man trying to save a woman. A woman completely capable to live and breathe, even if she is clumsy. This does not give him the right to ‘protect’ her as much as he does. I mean, he is completely obsessive, he goes to her home while she sleeps! That’s not romantic, that’s creepy (even if the guy is Robert Pattison!). 

However, I rediscovered a new sight to the character of Bella. She is strong, independent even though the story try to make us believe otherwise, brave and caring. She is a beautiful person, not just a clumsy and frail little thing who needs to be saved. That’s bullshit. Of course, she is in love and completely intense in their relationship, but she also loves to be able to make her own choice, to have her voice heard because she is intelligent. She loves deeply, cares too much and probably doesn’t put herself first enough but she still is a beautiful character. 

It’s quite hard for me to understand if I loved this book or not. I guess it was okay. Yet, it was lovely to get back on the story, rediscover the characters and going back into the Twilight mood. I guess I’m just glad it was not the same crappy things that E.L. James gave us with ‘Grey’! I’m still curious to know your thoughts on the book(s), if you’ve read it or planning to.