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Eva Marie

Blogger and cat lover In love with books, pizzas and DiCaprio Writing is my passion

janvier 21, 2019

Well, hi, I'm Maëva and I'm an introvert person

  • janvier 21, 2019
  • by
 I talked about honesty, anxiety, having no idea what to do with my own life. Now, I think it’s the proper time to talk about me as a person, me as someone quite introvert. This has been and still is such a big struggle for me as I always feel that being introvert has to be synonym of being uncool, unfriendly and terribly shy. Fortunately, I now see this as an other aspect of my personality, as something that makes me different, or not. I learned that there are a lot of great and positive things about being introvert. But, I didn’t always see things that way.

Back in high school, or even during my childhood, I was referred to as the “shy girl”, someone that you rarely heard speaking in class (expect chatting, obviously), turning red when she had to talk in front of lots of people. I hated that, and I really thought that this was all what others would see of me, my shyness. People who were popular and loved where the one who spoke the most, the one who weren’t shy and weren’t afraid to speak up. I thought, like most people I guess, that being popular was equal to success in life. AH. AH. AH. Well no, it’s not. You’re going to succeed in life if you are talented, open, creative, kind, but definitely not because you were cool back then.

"Un introverti c'est pas une personne qui n'a rien à dire, c'est une personne qui ne sait pas comment la dire" (Florence from La Mouette)

Later on, someone said to me that I was “reserved”. I was so offended by this word (even though this person meant well), thinking that it was again, another way to say that I’m shy and therefore not really likable. So, I asked my mom what this word meant as I realized that I did not really understand it. She explained it to me and I thought, well, this person was right, I am reserved. It just puts everything into perspective. Suddenly, I saw this as one part of my personality, the thing that makes me me. I was not just “shy”, I was way more than that. Being reserved, for me, means that you don’t share your feelings a lot. It does not mean that you don’t have anything to say. You do, it’s just hard to say things sometimes.

Nowadays, people are being so honest and open about themselves. The introvert and shy one are now getting out there, especially on the internet as it is way easier to speak when you’re not in front of people. I love that people succeeding, being creative, bossy, doing amazing things are also shy people, introvert people. It has just open up something new: hope that I too can succeed without having to change and become someone else to please others. I can just be me, using what makes me me and making the most of it. The “right way” to be is not being super chatty and extrovert, there iare plenty of personalities and they should all be accepted.  

I hate that I waste a lot of time being afraid of speaking up, but thinking about it, I don't think that I would have used writing as a way to speak up if I was different. I do speak up today, not just on the internet, but any time I've got something to say. It's not that I don't care what others might think, it's just that I feel way freer and myself when I do. I feel strong, I've got opinions and ideas, knowledge. Now it's something that I love to do, I love to share and talk about personal stuff so that we can all feel less alone for certain situation. And for this one, I'm sure I'm not the only one being introvert, shy and reserved. All of this don't have to mean that I'm not sociable (well, I'm not really actually, but working on it …) or that I don't speak to people. I do, I love meeting new people and getting to know them. I love engaging the conversation with someone. I love to speak my mind freely as much as I hate speaking in front of a lot of people or engaging the conversation in big groups. I can't even make a “thank you speech” to my family and friends at my own birthday. And this is how I am today and I probably will change in the future as I changed compared to a few years back. The most important thing to keep in mind is that the person we are becoming is a good one, no matter if we are shy, extrovert or unsociable.

I'm 24, I've got freckles (you get it now) and I'm a grumpy French, sometimes, who writes in English. I love books, cats, le barbu, pizzas and Dicaprio.

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Rennes, France