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Eva Marie

Blogger and cat lover In love with books, pizzas and DiCaprio Writing is my passion

décembre 09, 2019

But, what is anxiety?

  • décembre 09, 2019
  • by

Have you ever had a panic attack next to someone who has never experienced it before? Did you remember the panic on their face because they did not understand what was happening, what they had to do to help? Have you ever talked to someone about your anxiety and this person did not understand what it was like, but still wanted to help? These things are hard to explain because it’s almost impossible to put words on feelings so strong

Living with anxiety is a constant battle with yourself. You have to push your boundaries to be comfortable enough with life, but from time to time, your body and mind will say stop for you. Why? Because it’s too much. You tried to shut this little voice in your head telling you it was not a good idea. You tried to ignore it to push your boundaries even further, and then you whole body shut down. Tickling in your fingers until they become stone-like. Dizziness, loss of breath, world spinning. The next minute, you’re on the floor crying because this huge amount of feeling is exploding to your face. What has been kept hidden in the back of your mind wanted to go out, your feelings, your fears, your vulnerabilities: all of those are put on the floor because you have to face them at some point, even if you don’t want to. 

This is how I would describe a panic attack when you have too much on your plate. The “too much” is different from people to people, or with time. It takes a lot of time and effort to reduce the “too much”. As for anxiety on a daily basis, it can be even harder. Every little details of your life that seems random can be a source of anxiety for someone suffering with it. Making a call, going alone somewhere, going to a party with plenty of people you don’t know, taking the tube, and so one and so forth. Those sources of anxiety are really (really) hard to control and overpass. It takes time, a lot of anxiety and effort to make them go away. Therefore, when someone tells you they are not comfortable with doing something so random and tiny for you, don’t be hard on them. Just be there for them, help them find something positive with the situation, help them understanding the simplicity of the situation so that it is easier to cope with. Don’t rush them, don’t make them feel stupid or even more insecure. Love them, take their hand. 

Sometimes, the boundaries are pushed. 

Sometimes, we managed to grasp a bit more of air in our lungs when we do something without feeling anxious. Those moments are victories because we grow, we are fighting our limits and have a healthier mind. Celebrate those victories with them, with us. Again, it shows that you are present for that person. I don’t believe that anxiety goes away, at least not definitely. It is hard to cope, but for me, it helps to see it as a warning for my own mental health. If something seems too much and I don’t want to push these kinds of boundaries, then I won’t do it and try something smaller first. Baby steps. When sometimes I feel anxious for something I can’t control, I think and try to understand why I’m feeling this way and if I’m not making too much stories in my head. More important, support. Support from people who know what you live with, support from people who don’t, it doesn’t always matter as long as you have someone holding your hand. 

I hope this will help people to understand what anxiety is if you don’t know. Understanding what we are facing (not experiencing) is a way to educated oneself and be more open and less judgmental to others that might suffer from it. Mental health is important, taking care of people we love is also important. Never assume that it’s easy for everyone. 

I'm 24, I've got freckles (you get it now) and I'm a grumpy French, sometimes, who writes in English. I love books, cats, le barbu, pizzas and Dicaprio.

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Rennes, France