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Eva Marie

Blogger and cat lover In love with books, pizzas and DiCaprio Writing is my passion

juin 27, 2020

Is it easier to talk online than to a friend?

  • juin 27, 2020
  • by

For those of you who share a lot of your life and personality online, whether it's with a blog or on social medias, have you ever thought that it was easier to just write things online than talking to an actual friend? That saying something personal to strangers could feel easier than having a conversation with someone you trust and love? How crazy, right? But somehow, sometimes, it does feel easier. 

A good friend pointed this out to me one day, and it made me think about it quite a lot. Writing things, whether it’s in a journal or on my blog feels natural to me. Talking to someone about what’s really going on inside my head, not so much. And yet, I know I can count on my friend and I like when they are open and honest with me, that they can trust me. So why is it so hard for me to do the same?

I remember the time when someone said that I was reserved with my feelings and even with myself. I was hurt because I did not understand the whole meaning of this, but now I do. And it's still true. I think it’s just that I don’t like to annoy people with what’s inside my head, at least not when it’s negative. I'm more of a listener myself and being the person who nods feels natural, not the other way around. Therefore, it can be quite hard to open myself up to strangers or new friends. It takes a lot of time, and I usually don't open as much as I should. Yet, I still don't really get how my mind works and why it's easier for me to share on my blog than reaching out. Of course, I know I can count on people and that I won't be boring to them and that they would listen and support me in their own way. Yet, I keep myself inside this shell. As if I want to take care of everything by myself. 

Well, not anymore. Being in a relationship, you have to force yourself to have these conversations. You can't just go and cry alone whenever something's wrong. It takes time, but eventually I open up quite easily with my boyfriend. He is my biggest support and I live with him. Obviously, I'm comfortable enough to be totally open. And anyway, he just knows when something is off with me. So I'm getting used to that, and now I try to do the same with my friend. And it's bloody hard people. Yet, when you see the value when you talk to a friend, the love and support you receive, it becomes easier to keep doing it. It’s something to get used to I guess. However, it takes time and writing your feelings on the internet can still feels easier. And I think it’s okay.

The thing is, people have to try to find a way to share their feelings, to express them in any way that make them comfortable. For me, it has always been through writing and expressing myself with words. Writing is some sort of security, honesty and a way to let go. The most important thing is knowing you have people who's got your back, no matter how easy or hard it is to talk to them, they're here as much as you are here for them. Nobody is alone, but you've got to give yourself some time to adjust to whatever you're comfortable with. 

I'm 24, I've got freckles (you get it now) and I'm a grumpy French, sometimes, who writes in English. I love books, cats, le barbu, pizzas and Dicaprio.

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Rennes, France